"Smoke me a Kipper, I'll be back for breakfast!"

"An IQ of 6? Do me a lemon! That's a poor IQ for a glass of water!"

"He told me that, in a previous incarnation, I was Alexander the Great's chief eunuch."

"According to the log we're down to our last 3000 vomit bags. It'll never be enough."

"Look what it did to me! It's turned me into Duane Dibbley - the Duke of Dork."

"Nothing wrong with dog's milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly."

"You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress and army boots and you think that's un-amiss?"

"As soon as they see me they'll only have to force me into platform shoes and flared trousers and I'll sing like Tweetie Pie."

"Kryten, unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit. I'm alive!"

"I've been so worried I haven't buffed my shoes in my two days."

"Let's at least ask someone who's at least going to give us a slightly more intelligent opinion. Hello, wall! What do you think?"